Happy New Year!! Bit late, but there you go! Well since it’s a new year and the year 2002 is now a fading memory lets take a look at what may happen in the year 2003 in the WWE! Oh yes, such good things will hopefully happen, but I just hope Linda McMahon doesn’t return this year (oh she’s a babe), also I hope that There will be a new Worlds champion that doesn’t come from the clique, Oooo Imagine X-Crap would return to the WWE on raw and become the Worlds Champion! Ooooo! Doesn’t bare thinking about, anyway enough Negative thoughts! Onto positive ones! LUSH!

WHAT WILL AND COULD HAPPEN IN THE YEAR OF 2003!!!

Rhyno’s Return :

Well, its only a few weeks away now!, cant believe he has been gone a whole year! So sad.

Well on Raw on Monday, guess who will be at the World in New York! (For those who don’t know, The World is some big Restaurant / Night Club thing in New York where people eat and dance and is owned by the WWE, and occasionally a WWE superstar pops there and goes “hello!”) Rhyno will be at the World! Wooo Hooo! Hopefully he may pop up on the show and just go “Grrrrr” and maybe Gore a fan in the audience or pick up some New York Stripper and Scream “Grrrrr” then Pile Drive her through the Bar table. That would be cool.

The WWE has missed Rhyno this year or last year it is now, other wrestlers have tried playing Psycho parts last year, and failed, anyone who saw ECW knows Rhyno is the only guy who can play a psycho, ah yes his feud with the Sandman when Rhyno tried to shove his wife’s head down the toilet and pile drived her through a table. The good old days!

Anyway, Rhyno by the end of this year will be one of the main eventer’s in the WWE as long as his injury hasn’t had any long lasting effects on him, 2003 the year of the man beast?? Quite possibly. Also when he returns he can Teach Edge how to do a spear and teach Brock Lesnar how to be scary instead of wobbling his tits about.

Hasn’t Rhyno got great hair! Just thought id says that! No reason. 

Simon Diamond Debut?

When ECW went “Phut” one of the wrestlers who was making a break through was Simon Diamond! He could Wrestle, he had the look and above all else which seems to be more important than actual wrestling these days! (Weird) he was Amazing on the Mic!

He’s had a couple of dark matches in the WWE since the end of ECW and he was pretty good, last I heard he was in the NWA-TNA and also he was considering playing Pro Baseball!?!?! Noooo!!!, the WWE have signed his bird Dawn Marie, who is very nice, nice boobs, nice face, But Simon Diamond IF brought to the WWE would be huge!! He could have great feuds with Jericho, Rock, Angle and anyone else who is great on the Mic! An Angle Simon Diamond feud would be great and also very funny as the two are great on the Mic!

One problem is though he may be too small as he’s about 5ft 11, and we all know Vince gets palpitations at the sight of a 6ft 9 inch guy with no talent instead of a talented guy who sadly isn’t 6ft 9.

Am I dreaming or do you think Vince will try and Sign old git’s like Goldberg instead of new talent like Simon Diamond…….Hmmm, well I guess I can figure that out for myself really! Still you never know! It might just happen!

Stone Colds Return :

Pff… Don’t care, don’t like him, even though his return will boost ratings. Next…

The People’s Champion Return :

Well he will be back for wrestlemania!! And good news! He has no movies to do this year! So he’s back for at least a year! LUSH!, (id like Rock a lot more like I used too if he didn’t keep soding of to do movies all the time).

Also When he does return it’s rumored he will be back as a Heel! Oooo! That will be cool, rock is a great face, but remember earlier this year when he said “Well actually one person deserves a title shot more than me, Hulk Hogan” Pff!! Big girls blouse!, stick up for yourself man! Silly peoples champ.

Anyway, remember when the most popular wrestler in WCW turned heel??? Hulk Hogan!! What happened to the ratings!! Went like Bill Clintons lil member when he sees a tasty woman! Or any woman, the Ratings Went up and UP!! So a rock Heel turn would be great not only for his Character as maybe it has become a lil stale at the moment, and it will be great for ratings!, be good if he teamed with Heyman also…The 2 funniest guy’s in the WWE together! Be good.

So Rocks return! Something im getting excited about, but not as excited as this….

Undertaker to return to the Darkside :

Well by the Darkside, I don’t mean he’s gonna dress up as Darth Vader and wave around a light saber and cough and wheeze all the time while telling Kurt Angle that he is actually his father and that Jazz is his sister.

Oh no! I mean he’s returning as the TRUE Undertaker, the wrestler that got me into wrestling in the first place, The American bad ass gimmick was cool, as Taker got to talk like a normal person and be funny at times, remember “If you say What one more time you sleep with your sister”, then the crowd went “WHAT!” Duh!! Nerds, anyway American Bad Ass was cool, but there was nothing like the Phenom.

Rumor’s are abound that the Undertaker will return as the Dark Evil Lord of Darkness at the Royal Rumble and with the lil adverts promoting his return, it does seem that he will finally return! Shibby Wibby I say! That means new Darkside T-shirts!! New Dark side mugs!!! New Dark Side Taker pants!!! (Which is good as my old pair is getting dirty…I mean, old!) and of Causes, Dark Side Taker in Smackdown 5! Which will be called…Hmm I dunno Im Freaking Bald or something, Oh, I can’t contain my excitement! And if the Return of the Phenom doesn’t improve the Ratings then nothing will! Probably the Greatest gimmick in wrestling history will return and it will be Shibby!

*UPDATE* : Did you see the promo on Smackdown!! Didn’t it give you a funny feeling down bellow!!!! NO! Not that that far you perv! Up a bit in the tummy!! Goose bumps and stuff!!! I cannot wait, think ill try and bang my head really hard so ill be in a deep sleep for a few weeks, so the Royal Rumble will come quicker! Or maybe ill learn how to hibernate!! Hmmm, Lush! Oh Taker how we love you! In a manly kinda way of cause!

10 Shibby Titbits for the year 2003 :

1. Albert will shave his back and have a Tattoo of an Aardvark on it.
2. Batista will actually get some talent.
3. Al Wilson will just disappear hopefully.
4. Hulk Hogan will shave his Tash in a horrible accident with a lawn mower and come back as Razor Ramon.
5. Rhyno will put Steph, Linda and any other irritating women through tables and swear allot.
6. Jeff Hardy will learn not to paint himself and get back to the usual Jeff Hardy of 99 - 01 which made him so popular.
7. Kevin Nash will dye his hair blonde again. (Have you seen recent pictures!! HE’S GREY!!!! Noooo!!! I had to go into counseling I was so shocked by it)
8. Vince McMahon will return and look up women’s skirts as usual and play the usual pervert.
9. A flaming table’s match will debut this year with the Dudley’s & 3 minute Warning! You heard it here 1^st!
10. Torrie Wilson will dump “Mr. Personality” Billy Kidman and become available! (Oh yes and ill be waiting!)

Well a shorter column this week (looks over it, actually its still long), why does the word column always make me laugh, he he, Hmm, I dunno, I should grow up!

Well ill be back next week, talking about, Hmmm, maybe Al & Dawns marriage?!? Pff. One thing though! On the ring posts, what is that bit of white string that hangs off the top of the top pad??? And why do the wrestlers always hold onto it in a tag match??? Does it give them love??? Hmmm, most odd. Answers on a corn flakes box please!

Stay Shibby.

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