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The Shibby Sheet
Hiya and welcome to this week's delightful seasoning of Shibbyness from the shibby sheet, from The Shibby Shack above a tree in Portman Road in Ipswich, with a little, and when I say LITTLE I mean LITTLE review of the PPV that was Unforgiven, which I shall come onto later!
This week, I have Kane in the Shibby Shack as promised, he is already here sitting in the corner with a towel over his head! He's a strange man!! Still he will be chatting with me later, about towels, baldness and the joke of a match that was Shane Vs Kane at Unforgiven.
So with Kane in the Shibby Shack with me this week, I have decided that this weeks Shibbyness will be sponsored by Cold : Year of the spider CD, why does that have something to do with Kane?!?! I do not know, but I'm listing to it now, so I thought it would do, also it has a freaky lil spider on the cover of the CD!! Grrr it goes! Like Kane!! See….well, obviously spiders don't talk, but if they did, I'm sure they would sound a lot like Kane!
Anyway, enough of Kane and spider related talk, onto my Shibby Sheet :
Unforgiven Review :
Well, seeing that the first match on the PPV which featured the Dudleyz was IMO the best match of the PPV, then I guess that says right away that the PPV wasn't all that great! And to be honest, it wasn't!
I like being all shibby and happy and I know that wrestlers hate the internet because of all the negative feedback they get sometimes, but it has to be said, that the PPV wasn't great and what ruined it for me, was as ever, a damn McMahon.
On one hand, we have Kane, a fearsome 7ft foot monster, who a few months ago and leading up to the PPV was feared by all Raw wrestlers and they where all scared as to what he was going to do next, he was mean, he was bald, and above all else, he was cool!
But on the other hand, we have Shane McMahon, an out of shape part time wrestler, who seemed to break out in a sweet, even before he reached the ring, but of cause he is a McMahon, so he wasn't scared of Kane, even though other full time wrestlers, including the highly talented Chris Jericho was (storyline wise) as where all other wrestlers. Beggars belief IMO.
So after weeks of trading beatings including Shane O'Tubby Gut kicking Kane into a burning dumpster, and after destroying him on the Raw before the PPV, it pointed to a convincing win for Kane on the PPV! Or so it should have done.
What we did see was a man, Glen Jacobs who plays the fearsome monster of Kane being made to look a total jackass by Shane McMahon, and totally kill all the heat Kane had after turning into the monster heel.
Vince wonders why the WWE is lacking in ratings at the moment, well here's a good example here, making your own family members look great and stunning over main event wrestlers!
The match was just a joke, yes the stunts by Shane where good, but it just made Kane out to look a complete joke, Kane should have destroyed Shane and left him a bloody mess to make him look like the monster that he supposedly is, not some useless gimp that got his ass handed to him on a plate, by a fat part time wrestler.
Also Kane only won by a Shane O'Tubby Gut mistake! Kane should have choke slammed him off the Titantron, not just see Shane jump ass first onto the stage, funny thing I did notice, was that Shane was miles off from Kane anyway, impressive stunt yes, but just made Kane look silly.
The rest of the PPV was just there or there about's, it was nothing to write home about, it all just left a bad taste in my mouth to be honest with you, and I'm not talking about the cheese I had which I dipped in my pot noodle! Oh no, Christ that gave me wind the following day! No, I'm talking about the McMahon factor, which yet again ruined a PPV, and having read the Smackdown spoilers, well looks like its going to happen at the next PPV again too! *sigh*
Sorry to be all negative, as I love being all Shibby and Sweet, but when you are forced to watch poo, you cant really make poo look nice….except Mr. Hankey..HOWDY HO!!! He he, he was a funny turd….Oh, anyway, yes…Ill promise I wont be negative again.
Rhyno
Except here!
Here we have Rhyno! A wrestler who has "IT" a Manbeast he has incredible wrestling talent, he has the look, and given just a slight push as a psycho heel would get over in no time, happened in ECW and it happened in the WWF.
When Rhyno turned heel I thought, Ahhh!!! Here we go, an awesome Chris Benoit Vs Rhyno feud is on the way, it never materialised, infact all it was, was that it turned out to be a side show in an actual feud between Benoit and god forbid A-Train!!!
What has Rhyno done to be treated so badly is what I want too know?? Did he laugh at HHH when he was wearing one of his pink shirts? Did he accidentally touch Vince's toupee, did he accidentally say to Steph "Boy your ass is fat", or maybe its just because he's is immensely talented yet is 5ft 11, not a 6ft 8 monster like A-Train, yet he isn't even in Rhyno's league!!!
I'm not going to say A-Train is rubbish, as he isn't, if he was rubbish, he wouldn't be in the WWE, he just shouldn't be getting a push IMO that has him wrestling a god of the game like Chris Benoit.
Think of it, what would the Wrestling fans rather see Chris Benoit Vs A-Train or Chris Benoit Vs Rhyno! I know what I would rather see! And it doesn't feature the man with the hairy back.
Until Vince gets out of this current idea that he thinks fans want to see big fat wrestlers in main events instead of talented guys who are not 6ft 8, the WWE will not get out of its ratings rut, treating talented guys like Rhyno, who bust his ass to get back into the business after breaking his neck 18 months ago, is a bit of a joke I feel, this is the thanks he gets, not even the slightest of pushes, just matches with some guy called Orlando Jordon on Velocity while Vince gets down with it with Chatterer on Smackdown, though Rhyno does appear occasionally on Smackdown to job to some guy to put them over.
I dunno, all very strange, maybe Rhyno will get a push eventually, but I don't remember a guy as talented as Rhyno ever being buried as badly as he is right now, I for one see him in NWA-TNA this time next year, and that probably isn't a bad thing!
Kane in the Shibby Shack
Well, after letting off all that steam, lets get down to the lighter side of the shibby sheet, from The Shibby Shack above a tree in Portman Road in Ipswich, lets now talk to everyone's favourite bald psycho, Kane!
Shibby : Welcome Kane, I'm glad you made it this week
Kane : Meh
Shibby : So Kane, this Towel on your head, its very nice, is it cotton or silk?
Kane : *Kane looks threw the towel and just stares at the shibby one, then clicks his neck*
Shibby : Ok, I take that as neither then, ok that's cool, so Kane, what's it like being bald?
Kane : Have you ever walked across fire in your life? I mean real fire, where you feel the skin burn from your feet and smell the flesh burning as you scream in pain, wishing that you would just die?
Shibby : Errr….no, I haven't actually, is it good?
Kane : Have you ever felt pain?
Shibby : I once farted that it hurt my bum! That was quite painful
Kane : You have never felt pain, I HAVE FELT PAIN! I see pain every day of my live, I walk pain, I see pain, I think pain, I AM PAIN! You need to know yourself, what pain really is before you can even ask me about it!
Shibby : Erm… I don't remember asking you about pain, I asked you about your baldness.
Kane : Are you making fun of me?
Shibby : No!! NO!!! I'd never do that!
Kane : Good, cause if you did, I'd kill you!
Shibby : Ok, I wont do that then, another question, what did you think of your match at Unforgiven?
Kane : I thought you said you wasn't going to make fun of ME!!!!
Shibby : I didn't, I asked about your….
Kane : I tried to warn you, you Ipswich fool! DON'T MAKE FUN OF ME!!!!
*Kane proceeds to pick up the shibby one and dose him in petrol fluid then chucks him against the wall, voices then appear telling Kane to stop and not to do it! Kane and Shibby look at each other confused wondering where these strange voices where coming from, but then Kane Chokeslams him out the Shibby Shack above a tree in Portman Road in Ipswich, and the Shibby one crash's 50ft from his shack onto the grass as Kane laughs above him playing with matches burning various items then cutting himself with a knife while looking at a copy of women's own*
You see!! YOU SEE!!!!! That is how you build a monster!! By having him beat up a loveable Wrestling Columnist, not having his ass handed to him on a plate by a tubby part time wrestler!!!
God, I'd be a good WWE Writer, then again, I'd make Kevin Nash champion, and have the APA tag champs and bring back Jeff Hardy…Hmmm, so maybe not all would like me, but hey, I'd rather see Nash than Vince!! Nash makes short dyed blonde hair look cool! Not many people can do that, while Vince walks as though he has a turtle head coming from his buttocks.
Oh well.
Well, that's it for this week, I will be in a more positive mood next week on my views of the Wrestling world, just think it was a bad PPV that got me feeling all ill, though after 2 straight good PPV's and one of them being Vengeance which was very shibby, I guess we where due a dodgy PPV, so I guess its ok.
Well, Until next week, go buy Soul Calibur 2, as it looks cool! Also you can use some guy called Nightmare with a big old sword!! WOW! That's cool, imagine the Big Show with a big Sword, that would be so funny…..
Or maybe not.
Stay Shibby
This site is NOT affiliated with the WWE, ECW, XWF, XPW, The Pope or any wrestling Fed, Ta very muchley!. |
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