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The Shibby Sheet
Hiya! And welcome to the aftermath of the Vengeance PPV, well, wasn't it good! Yes indeedie! It was as good as Jazz's baps. A beautiful wine from France….actually not France, erm.., Italy, yeah that will do and it smelt as good as a rose form the garden of Mrs. George Bush, as I bet the White house garden is very posh and smells very nice!
Anyway, what a PPV, every match was either great, or not as bad as I thought it would be, also one thing happened which I have been waiting for since he returned a few months ago, yes that's right! Rhyno turned heel! FINALLY!!! Hopefully this will be the start of a huge push and also a Chris Benoit feud, which I have been looking forward to for a very long time! Very shibby.
Well, before I get to going through the best bits of the PPV, this shibby sheet is sponsored by My Burton Gold Card, very posh and err, gold it is, great supplier of socks and all sorted clothes, which I'm sure Rico buys his clothes from…if he lived in the UK. Hmmm… oh well. Anyway, onto the Shibby Sheet!
The US Title Match
Well, apart from Chris Benoit Vs Kurt Angle, and Scott Steiner Vs HHH at the Royal Rumble (guess which match is a joke!! He he) this was the match of the year, funny that Chris Benoit has been in most of the matches of the year so far, yet has lost them all??? Any justice, probably not but there we go, he still has his great beard, so I guess he is happy.
No massive spots in this match like someone threw a table or a 50ft dive from something really high, it was just a great "wrestling" match and it was most enjoyable.
Eddie Guerrero in this match was very funny trying to find out different way's of cheating to win the match and it never seemed to work, and his facial expressions, most funny, it would make a plastic man like Jim Carrey proud, oh yes.
Although the match was great, as a Rhyno fan, the best moment of the match for me was the Heel turn of the man beast (is that one word or two? Manbeast? Man beast?? Hmmm) RHYNO!!! He is now evil! Finally!, there is nothing on wrestling TV like a heel Rhyno, hopefully he will be like the Rhino of ECW, though if Rhyno's heel turn is incredibility successful, you can beat that Vince will try and steal all the thunder away from Rhyno and align himself with him, though is that good or bad? I dunno.
Anyway, Eddie Vs Benoit was divine, it was Shibby, it was everything I expected and more, though I was hoping Benoit was gonna punch that ref, god I hate that bloke, SLAP HIM CHRIS!!!
Here's to Benoit Vs Rhyno at Summerslam, oh that will be good, though maybe Rhyno vs Eddie Vs Benoit?? Hmmm, either way, both good! So I'm happy.
The Bar Room Brawl
Oh this was fun, it started off with Bradshaw and Faarooq (now Faarooq again, which is a good thing, as Ron Simmons was such a tongue twister, Rooooooon, SEE!! Well, doesn't work in type, but try saying it yourself, you'll see what I mean.) speaking to Funaki, with Faarooq going "Ill be DAMNED!" after he say a rather large Easter bunny!!! Blimey I don't remember mother ever saying the Easter Bunny was that large when I was a kid! Luckily I never saw it or I would have soiled my pants and embarrassed myself in front of my peers, which isn't a good thing.
Anyway, after the sight of the EVIL Dalek size Easter bunny, we go to the Bar Room Brawl scene, it was great, a made up Bar! Well fun, wish all pubs looked like that, well, they may do around the world, but they certainly don't look like that around Ipswich, oh no and they are far more civalised too!!! They have Women for starters.
Anyway, back to the match, or match of sorts, it was a great "light side" to the PPV just around 15 midcard wrestlers beating the poo out of each other, also including some rather nice touches.
Sean O'Haire punching the Easter bunny was the funniest thing I'd seen all day, Faarooq's facial expressions during Brother Loves Prayer, Funaki drinking at the bar all the time, Brother Love about to smack Bradshaw around the head with a beer can…oh it was great fun, I enjoyed it.
It even had some cool wrestling moments!!! Sean O'Haire's varied moves, Bradshaw's Clothesline from Hell on "The Bull", Matt Hardy, Shannon Moore, and among others too.
They probably never will be another APA Invitational, but I hope there will be, it was a good laugh and got a load of wrestlers PPV time too!
Surprised Bradshaw won, but I was happy, as he is cool and has a Dynamic haircut to go with his new Streamline stomach as well, good to see The APA together, I like them, they make me laugh, one last thing about the match, haven't the Basham Brothers got great music!!!! Bow Boow Wooow!!!, Bow Boow Wooow!!!, Bow Boow Wooow!!! Dooo DEE!! Dooooo Dooo DEE!! Anyway, it sounds better on TV than it does on a column, never mind, but I like it.
The McMahon Matches
Oh you should have seen the delights of food on my lap I had during these matches, Mmmm, Jaffa Cakes, Pot Noodles, Vanilla flavored coke, I even had a Wispa bar, I know im naughty it will go straight to my bum that will, just like Stephs HA HA HA HA HA….sorry…..
Well, at least they where both kind of short and sweet, though I still didn't particular like either of them too much, but hey, I only have to watch them once, and I can fast forward them later!!! BONUS!!
Steph Vs Sable, first things first, I don't mind women with a bit of fat on them, infact it's a good thing, something to hold onto, but usually they conceal it!! I will be blunt.
Steph looked like a real tubby mamma on Vengeance!! But she looked cute in an odd sort of way; well anything is better looking than old Chatterer to be honest with you!! Did you see the close ups of Sable!! Good GOD!! It was scary; age certainly hasn't been kind to her, or her plastic surgeon. Ok she is probably a real nice lady in real life, but it still doesn't change the fact she looks like Chatterer from Hellraiser.
The match was short which was handy, and to be fair, Steph wasn't that bad really, she did a couple of nice moves and stuff and looked ok.
No idea though why British Rail came out and smacked Steph for, guess he is in for another push, but personally I would have had Rhyno come out again and do her in, just to add more Evilness to the Rhyno character, but that's me…..Just have to wait and see why British Rail came out and helped Sable though, be interesting.
Vince Vs Zach, not as bad as I first thought it would be, and having seen the Confidential program with Zach on it, it kinda made you want to see Zach win, Still not a fan of the guy though, but he hasn't had the best of lives it seems, and full respect to the guy for doing something he has dreamed of doing, god bless him.
But anyway onto the match, Zach did a dropkick, a pin, ermm and a moonsault, and that was about it! He can't do much else, not his fault as he only has one leg, but in the match next to the main event, it's a bit silly don't you think!!!
During the match Michael Cole was REALLY getting on my nerves telling Vince to stop hitting Zach in the leg, well he only has one! What is he supposed to do?? And Michael quite rightly said it was hard to watch, and I don't want to sound nasty or sick here, but it was hard to watch some guy hoping around the ring then getting thrown about. Not really what I call entertainment.
But anyway, apart from the freakish element to the match, it wasn't too bad, but I'm sure that Vince slapped on a Burger King Tomato Sauce pack on his head after the chair shot, as he stuck something on there, unless he sliced him self open with a Knife. I dunno.
Anyway, with Vince winning, I think it is near the end of Zach in the WWE, I mean, what else can they do with him? HONESLTY!! I'm not being cruel here but what can they do with a one legged wrestler now? I'm pretty sure no one would want to job to him, sad, but it is probably true.
We will have to wait and see.
Legend Vs Smackdown Legend to be (probably)
One of the matches of the night featured the Funny Eminem, well not wannabe, as he is way better than the man himself, John Cena, he is a funny man, not too sure about his hair cut, but hey I dye my hair blonde, so what do I know!, And of cause the other guy in the match was the Legend himself, The Undertaker, Considering what happened to him the past week, he was my star of Vengeance, also was funny though seeing him up the top of the ramp slightly shaking his head as his bike wouldn't start, Bless him.
The match itself was a cool brawl, and John Cena's best PPV match to date, I remember Cena Vs Lesnar a few PPV's ago, I was watching it with my mates and we all nearly fell asleep, so its good to see that Taker can get good matches out of people, not the other way around as some people always seem to say.
I know (as ever) some where disappointed that Taker didn't do the job at this match, but I think it's a good thing as I would like to see this Feud continue for more than one PPV match, and carry on till Summerslam and see Taker do the job there in a cage match or something, be cool.
John Cena literally kicked takers ass in the match and made him bleed from inside (ok, I think he just stuck an Aniseed ball in his gob and dribbled everywhere, but it looked cool), and taker well sold everything.
Odd Taker kicked out of Cena's finisher the FU, but it did look kinda funny, as Takers feet weren't really that far off the ground when Cena had him on his shoulders, and Taker is just to big to make it look like it had that much of an effect on him, thus a Cage match would be better and more realistic.
Cena could then smash Taker around in the cage then deliver the FU and it will look cooler.
Anyway, great match, enjoyed it very much, and I'm looking forward to a rematch at Summerslam!!!! Very Shibby!
The Main Event
Oh I enjoyed this match very much, and my big butch far bum fellow Big Show, didn't let me down, he was great, for a man his size the bumps he takes are amazing.
At the start of the match it was all Big Show, and I liked IT!!! I know a lot of people don't really like him that much, but that's fine, but I'm still impressed when a man can suplex 2 guys by himself, and one of them was Brock Lesnar!
The match was great, had great moments with Brock and Angle slapping each other around, Kurt seems to be back to his best as ever, Brock is good now, and I don't mind him too much now, and Big Show was awesome, I especially liked his Butt Punch move on Kurt Angle, oh that made me laugh, I would try that myself one day, but my arse is pert, instead of saggy and lumpy, so it wouldn't have much effect, still, looks cool on TV.
The Angle slam on the Announce table was great, the Double Chokeslam by The Big Show, Brock's F5 on the Show where great moments from the PPV, oh what a divine match.
Was surprised that Angle won, maybe a little to soon as I thought Brock was doing ok as champion, but hey if this is someway to bring back Heyman to Brock side, I'm happy…..hey!! Just had a thought….
What if Angle & Benoit team up because of "Respect" and Rhyno & Lesnar team up alongside Jesus himself reborn Paul Heyman!! And feud against each other….OH THAT WOULD BE COOL!!!!!!!, I hope it happens.
Well, enough of my creative juices there, in my head I mean….ON MY NECK THAT IS!! Phew, how rude. Still great match, and a great PPV.
Other Stuff from VENGEANCE!
The tag match was good, hell even Billy BOREDAM Kidman was good, the SSP from the rope was amazing! And TWGGT looked like it too, very good match.
Billy & Noble put on a decent match too, Gunn seems to have gotten quite good since his return, and though he seems to have less hair it looks like, not as dynamic as Mr. Bradshaw's! Oh no, that hair is class.
One thing I noticed on Vengeance, where was there only about 2 refs??? I'm sure there was only 2, as ive never seen Mike Chidoea (no idea how is name is spelt) so much in my life! Hmmm, maybe they where away eating burgers at some Burger stand, as burgers are PROPER SHIBBY in Denver Colorado!! (cheap pop!) or something and missed the PPV? I dunno. Still seemed odd though.
Well, here is a list of the matches and ill give the matches a rating out of 10!! Oh yes!! 1 for X Pac goodness and 10 for the loveliness of Kevin Nash's Hair!!
1. Eddie Vs Benoit : 10
2. Billy Gunn Vs Jamie Noble : 7
3. APA Bar Room Brawl : 7
4. TWGTT Vs Billy & Rey : 8
5. Chatterer Vs Steph : 6
6. Undertaker Vs Cena : 8
7. Zach Vs Vince : 6
8. Lesnar Vs Show Vs Angle : 9
Oh yes all very good!!! No lower than 6 there!! Very Shibby, I'm gonna buy the PPV when its out on DVD, and that isn't just so I can show it to my mum and go "Look mum, you know you keep saying your fat and looking old, LOOK AT STEPH AND SABLE!!" That will make her happy….Hmmm, hope she aint reading this….
Well that's the end of an INCREDIBALY long shibby sheet! DAMN!! (As Faarooq would say, god bless him, but please get a hair cut Mr. Rooq)
Well, I will be back next week with more feelings on the world of wrestling! Well WWE to be precise as I don't watch other wrestling, Hmmm oh well.
Just before I go….BUY BRADSHAWS BOOK!!! I know I am, he looks funny on the cover, and he looks like a guy from Texas!!!...oh wait, he is.
Hmmmm…
Stay Shibby.
This site is NOT affiliated with the WWE, ECW, XWF, XPW, The Pope or any wrestling Fed, Ta very muchley!. |
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