The Shibby Sheet

Hiya! And welcome again to another week of the shibby sheet, with me! Mr. Shibby.

Well hasn’t it been a fun week in the wwe! Hogan has walked out, which calls for a quite large Shibby, Crash has been released! SHIBBY!!! And Piper has also been let go! All is good in the WWE with some nasty talent being dropped, which is all very good.

They where good in their day, which was many years ago. But this is the era (or as HHH would Era, watch him say it, it’s very funny, doesn’t come off quite well in a wrestling column, but it sounds very modern and very odd, dirty bad boy) as I was saying, this is the era of Brock Lesnar, Kurt Angle, RHYNO & of cause Kevin Nash’s hair and others…

Well this week’s shibby sheet is sponsored by spearmint Polo! The minty mint with a hole, very nice it is! Makes smelly things smell minty, handy for when your shoes smell, stick one in your shoe and you have minty feet.

Also good for eating I hear, a lovely thing is a polo, I’m sure The Big Show eats them, as he is so big.

Thank you for all your feedback on sightings of Mr. Billy Kidman, I had one that said he was spotted in B&Q (thank you Mr. Chris) and he also said that maybe Hogan, Crash & Piper will join him there too! Well you never know….

I will keep an eye out for Mr. Dull boring Kidman when I go to B&Q tomorrow.

Anyway, I shall start of this column in a controversial fashion. You have been warned.

Zach Gowan

Now, before I say what I have been thinking since I first saw him, I respect the little hedgehog hair man, with only one leg and becoming a wrestler is quite amazing and much respect to the little man for doing it.

BUT!!!

Oh yes, there is always a but, you see, I don’t think I have seen such a bad actor in my life as this Mr. Gowan, and it truly makes for terrible TV, when ever I see him, his facial expressions look so silly, and when he first spoke! My goodness, what was he saying? Speak up young man! Do you have no emotion, move your lips!

I will let him off as it was his first time he spoke, but then when he met Sable! My goodness! It was the funniest thing I have heard in my live! “I want you!” dear god! It was like a cheap porno film from the 60’s it was so bad, and does he blink!!! He never blinks!

I have seen a clip of him from SMACKDOWN!! This week, and although his moonsault is very impressive, yet seeing him hopping around the ring, looked like something I watch late on a Friday night on some dodgy program or a bad horror movie on Channel 5! I don’t mean to sound nasty, but it just looked weird.

Still, with his dire gimmick at the moment as a fan of the failed Mr. America! I have a new one for him, he can be a futuristic Pirate called Captain Zach Brannigan! With a robotic metal leg and he wears a star trek like costume! And he can have a robot by his side that follows him to the ring called Bender! Oh it will be good! The robot could drink beer, nick the opponents belongings form his dressing room during the match, swear all the time, have a funny antenna on his head, and his catchphrase could be “Bite my shiny metal ass!”

Hmmm, sounds a tad familiar…oh well.

Good luck to Mr. Gowan though, but he just isn’t my cup of tea, I’d rather watch Angle, Lesnar, Rhyno, Taker than some young kid hoping around the ring.

Kane

Well, the biggest talk of the week has been the unmasking of the Big Red Machine, Kane.

It was a shame that Undertaker was not some kind of part of it, because think Kane, think Taker, think Taker, think Kane! You know.

Still anyway, it came across ok, but it did look as though Kane was having a quick fag before his match and was caught unawares that he was up for his match, and tripped into his Ash tray and didn’t have time to wipe it off. Still could have been worse.

This week though, a totally bald Kane, IMO looked really Awesome, he looked scary, he looked demonic he looked proper shibby! And real EVIL! Yes I know, there where no burn marks or anything. But he does look different to your average Big Man and his voice is cool! He sounds like an Evil Elton John on steroids! And that is good TV!

What will become of Kane now though? Well to be honest, I think he should become the World’s Champion but with HHH holding the belt, that maybe a no no, still you never know.

But a heel monster Kane with the belt would make for great TV and he could have swish feuds with RVD and maybe a face Chris Jericho….

That would be cool, Kane deserves it anyway. Especially after having his hair cut like my granddad (god bless his soul) many years ago last week! I bet he got pointed at when buying his fruit and veg that week!! Still I wouldn’t say anything though; he’s a bit big you know.

Rico

Have you seen this man in recent weeks! Oh my goodness! What a funny man, and possibly the funniest thing on WWE TV at the moment! (Except hearing the rumor that Billy Gunn is going to be US Champion!!! HA HA HA HA HA, oh funny stuff.)

Along with Miss Jackie, it makes for great television; it is like Goldust from many years ago except it has to be said, maybe better!! And this is coming from a golden fanny!! (A golden fanny is a Goldust fan, don’t blame me! It’s what Goldust calls them! And I am Proud to be one!)

The face paint, the jewelry, the hair gel, the clothes, the funny dancing!! Oh I really must try this out on a Monday night out clubbing in Ipswich! A sure bird puller I would have thought!

It seems the fans are behind it also, I haven’t read too many bad reports about his new character and I also read somewhere that the WWE where considering having the lovely SPARKLE GLITTER Rico as the next IC champion!! Could you imagine it!! Oh the Sparkle Glitter would flow that night….Hmmm, it would be proper shibby.

Rico has always been a much underrated wrestler, when he was on Smackdown he was one of the best there, and totally out performed his Tag Team he hanged out with, Billy & Chuck. It is good seeing Rico get the push that he truly deserves and hey! I’m even happy seeing Jackie Gayda now! As it means SPARKLE GLITTER TIME!!!

One funny thing though, Rico used to be a cop! Just imagine what all those people who he arrested are thinking while watching him on TV now!! Ha ha!! Oh I bet it is making them feel very small and pathetic! Still dirty people, they shouldn’t have been breaking the law anyway…nasty people.

The ERA OF SPARKLE GLITTER IS UPON US!!!!

Well, that’s this weeks Shibbyness over for another week…

I hope you enjoyed it! If not, well, watch the Grand Prix this weekend! Oh yes! I foresee Ralf Schumacher winning! And at 10-1 that’s a damn good bet! I’d pop down the bookies now and slap a fiver on it!! Go on!!!

Well, back to wrestling, Even though I have grown to dislike Hogan the past few months because of the Dire and groin pulling painful Mr. America storyline, it cant be forgotten what Hogan has done for the business, so I shall end this weeks shibby sheet with a thank you to Mr. Hogan.

Hulk, thanks for the memories!! You have beautiful saggy baps!

Stay Shibby.

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