The Shibby Sheet : Kevin Nash

Hiya! And welcome to another weekly edition of “The Shibby Sheet” and yes, that’s right, I am at this moment sitting upon my “Smash Predict” Royal Throne with my golden crown, quietly drinking a cinnamon tea with a few hob nobs, it’s good to be great, but hey, since I toppled Andy as Smash King, you know….. Things come easy now, people open doors for me in shops; they give me free samples at supermarkets, and most of all I get the local Newspaper FOR FREE on Fridays!! My goodness!

Ok, mother said that this has happened for the past 24 years of my life, but ive only just noticed! Pfff, I say, don’t use that tone with me, I’m Royalty NOW!!!

*just like to point out the above was a WORK! I’m not really a big head, I was brought up well by mother and father, I thank you*

Anyway, enough of my Shibbyness, I will now get on with my Shibby Sheet, which this week is brought to you by, a Rather odd pain in my elbow! So I’m using some “Deep Heat” to bravely write this column for my loyal fans, (mum and my boss at work)

Ok, I Promised that my Normal Shibby Sheet would return this week, well I have to put it back for another week as not every week does one of my all time Favorites return from Injury. (Ok, Taker, Rhyno, Bradshaw, Nash, Hmmm, maybe they do)

Kevin Nash :

He’s BACK!!! One of my all time favorite wrestlers has finally returned to raw to put some Size, 14 – 20 boot in someone’s face, and wave about his hair like only Kevin Nash can!

I read last week, that the Divine hair of Kevin Nash had been dyed BLACK!!! *SHOCK* gone was the magical Blondie locks that resembled the Golden Fleece and gone was the Awesome site that brought much happiness to children in Sri Lanka and Egypt.

But upon seeing pictures from Raw, the mans hair is brown! And must be said, looks very nice! I’m no Hair stylist, but hey if I owned a Hair Cutting place, I’d have a picture of Mr. Nash in my front window, oh it would draw the customers, and I’m sure many Hippies would walk in wanting there hair cut that way.

Anyway, as a Special treat, to the Return of Big Kev, I have done a History of the Life and Times of Kevin Nash’s hair! So here we go :

The Life and Times of Kevin Nash’s hair :

1959 :

Born Bald from mother Nash, but the journey of the greatest Hair in Professional Wrestling had been born!

1960 – 1989 :

No known evidence is around to say what color Kevin’s hair was, but many High School photos have been seen, and it is said that his hair was a Dark brown, and was more than likely a mullet.

1990 :

Big Kev debuted in the NWA with a quite nightmarish hair style that gave little children in East Anglia nightmares! He debuted as Steel and had a terrible Orange Mohawk! What ever possessed the guy in charge of NWA to do that is beyond me.

1991 :

Perhaps even worse than the Orange Mohawk was the Character of OZ! Nash appeared in Green tights, with Short Silver hair! He looked like my old headmaster! This was truly a horrid scene in wrestling, and how a man who’s hair is now worshiped by some monks in Tibet, is frankly, quite shocking.

Also during this time though Kevin Nash had a nice shiny Helmet, oh yes, what I mean by that is that he Played “SUPER” Shredder in the Movie, Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2! Quite stunning one would say.

1992 :

After the short silver streak came the short black hair of Vinnie Vegas! Christ, all these gimmicks for such a Legend of the wrestling world is stunning! Hair wasn’t to bad, but hey, it was to get better for the big man.

1993 – 1996 :

Kevin Nash came to the WWF as HBK’s bodyguard and was known as Diesel, he had cool long black hair, a kind of mullet one would say, but my GOD! What a mullet!

He kind of looked like the EVIL Michael Knight from Knight Rider, the one with the tash and dodgy beard, anyway, in this period Nash become WWF Champion and was the Champion for almost 11 months.

Ironic that when his hair became stunning that his career took an up turn? I think not!

Late 1996 – 1997 :

Back in WCW with a big fat cheque that allowed the great man to afford such wonderful hair care products to keep his hair in tip top condition, Kevin Nash became known simply as “Kevin Nash”, Nash had long flowing dark Brown hair that was quite stunning and helped the success of the NWO, Stuff Hulk Hogan and that speech at “bash at the beach” IT WAS THE HAIR!!!

Late 1997 – 2002 :

Possibly the greatest moment in the history of the life and times of Mr. Kevin Nash, Nash dyed his hair Blonde! And my GOD it was Stunning, when most people have long hair, quite frankly it looks naff, but Nash’s hair was simply Divine the way he brushed it back when he was in the ring, and the way it went “Wooooooshhh” after every Jacknife, it was simply a sight to behold, and brought joy and world peace to Planet Earth, well almost.

Also a synagogue in Ipswich, UK was made for many Kevin Nash fans around the world to come and worship and rejoice his hair, sadly though, due to lack of funding, the place closed in late 1999 and has since became just another part of the thriving red light district business in Ipswich.

Late 2002 - 2003 :

2002 and early 2003 was a torrid time for the hair of Mr. Nash, it started getting grey and was according to many reports, getting split ends, a quite sad state of affairs for such a Legendary Figure of wrestling.

As Big Kev was getting over his Torn Quad (ouch) his hair probably became 2^nd to his fitness, which I guess is fair enough, but I’m sure my campaign to send him THE VERY BEST hair care products in the world helped, as now Kevin Nash has returned with perfect non split end Dark Brown hair! He must use L’Oreal, and my sources say that some who sniffed his hair at the Recent RAW recording confirmed my suspicions as they said “A strong scent of L’Oreal was VERY much evident in the hair of one Mr. Kevin Nash”

The Future :

Who knows! I’m sure one day the great man will go bald and that will be a tragic loss to the world of wrestling and mankind in general, but we should enjoy it as long as it lasts, as it won’t be here for ever and we shouldn’t take it for granted.

So I toast my Cinnamon tea to the hair of Kevin Nash!!! And Thanks for the memories!! And here’s to the future!

10 Shibby Titbits of the week :

1. Jazz : From looking at her from the left, she is almost “pretty”
2. Goldberg : I give him 6 months, but I am interested in him!
3. Ratings : Is it just me, but even if Vince said he would reveal the meaning of life LIVE on TV that still the ratings wouldn’t improve! Guess its just one of those things.
4. HHH’s Pink Pants : I don’t think I’m color blind, but I’m sure he wore PINK Wrestling pants at Wrestlemania! Jesus! What’s the man on!
5. Undertaker : His new T-shirt is shibby
6. Stone Cold : Don’t like him much, but when he was walking away, it was kinda sad, sigh, I’m like an old women some times.
7. Torrie Wilson : Those green pants she wore! Wow! I WOULD! I’d go “Brrrrr!”
8. Kurt Angle : Bless, get well soon. (Was his neck that badly injured?)
9. Edge : Again, must be said, read his column on the WWE site! It’s SHIBBY!
10. Wardrobes : Big aren’t they! I just hid in mine! It’s like a Tardis, cept no fit women in there.

Well, that’s another week of Shibbyness over and done with, clever how my Microsoft Word now recognizes the word SHIBBY and “Brrrrr!” great, it thinks just like me.

Well what will happen this week in the world of wrestling, well who knows, as long as Goldust appears, I’m Happy! As I’m a PROUD Golden Fanny! Oh yes, and so should you be.

Tip of the week, erm, don’t turn your heater off! I did, and my balls are freezing at the moment and I’m not allowed to turn it back on! Pff, parents and there strict ways of living in the world of East Anglia.

Stay Shibby!

This site is NOT affiliated with the WWE, ECW, XWF, XPW, The Pope or any wrestling Fed, Ta very muchley!.